Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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