Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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