How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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