There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
