a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
