well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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