No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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