Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
