Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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