So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
