i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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