chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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