Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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