I wanna passion pit in your ass
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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