How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
