He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
