Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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