ya dads aren't the best wingmen
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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