People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
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The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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