I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize