he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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