Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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