Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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