dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
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Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
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They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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