i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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