R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize