I CAN MOONWALK!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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