Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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