I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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