it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
