The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
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I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
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I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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