I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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