Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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