I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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