yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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