yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
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Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
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I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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