So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
