well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize