I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I lost the right to judge tonight
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
