if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
