the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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