Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
