so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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