How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
