If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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