Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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