I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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