i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize