I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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