having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize