It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize
