i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
