I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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