Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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